AshleyNerdStar’s Quotes of the Week: Family Guy Edition

For this first installment of “AshleyNerdStar’s Quotes of the Week,” I visit one of my favorite TV shows Family Guy to countdown my top 10 memorable quotes. Now I know there are a lot of quotes that could have been on this list.

Some of these maybe your favs, while others that are not on the list serve as memorable classics. I think these 10 are pretty funny.
#10: Tom Tucker: And now, here’s Ollie Williams, with the BlaccuWeather Forecast. Ollie!
Ollie Williams: IT’S GON’ RAIN!
Tom Tucker: Thanks, Ollie.
#9: Mayor West: I love this job more than I love taffy, and I’m a man who loves his taffy.
#8: Cleveland Brown:  Public urination is just wrong. Except during the Million Man March when protestors burned down our porta-potties and I used my stream of justice to put out the hate.
#7:  Chris Griffin: Yo, did y’all check me when that hottie was all up in my Kool-Aid? Yeah, I was looking to break off a little somethin’ somethin’ but my crew gave me the 411 on that skank and she’s all about the bling-bling.
#6: Dennis Miller:  I don’t want to go on a rant, here, but America’s foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowulf having sex with Robert Fulton at the first battle of Antietam. I mean when a neo-conservative defenestrates it’s like Raskolnikov filibuster deoxymonohydroxinate…

[Peter is watching this on TV]

Peter Griffin: What the hell does rant mean?

#5: Police Officer: Hey. That’s Against the law. You’re coming with me.

Peter Griffin: [singing to the tune of U Can’t Touch this] Ah ah ah. Can’t Touch Me / Can’t Touch me / Ja ja ja ja just like the bad guy/ from Lethal Weapon 2 / I’ve got diplomatic Immunity / so Hammer, you can’t sue / I can write graffiti even jay-walk in the streets / I can Riot, loot, not give a hoot, and touch your sister’s teat / Can’t touch me/ Can’t touch me.

Mayor: What in God’s name is he doing?

Peter Griffin: Can’t Touch me.

Cleveland Brown: I believe that’s the worm.

Peter Griffin: [still singing] Can’t touch me / STOP, Peter time / I’m a big shot, there’s no doubt / light a fire then pee it out / Don’t like it, kiss my rump / Just for a minute, let’s all do the bump / Can’t touch me / Yeah, do the Peter Griffin Bump / Can’t touch me/ I’m Presidential Peter/ Interns think I’m hot / Don’t care if you’re handicapped, I’ll still park in your spot / I’ve been around the world / from Hartford to Back Bay / It’s Peter, Go Peter, I’m so Peter, Yo Peter, Let’s see Regis rap this way / Can’t touch me.

#4: Stewie Griffin: Damn it! I want pancakes! God! You people understand every language except English. Yo quiero pancakes. Donnez-moi pancakes. Click-click-bloody click pancakes!
#3: UPS Woman: I’ve got a package for Glen Quagmire.

Quagmire: I’ll be right back

[Closes door, then returns a moment later, naked]

Quagmire: And I’ve got a package for you too! Oh!

[she maces him]

Quagmire: Nice try, but I’ve built up an immunity.

#2:  Lois Griffin: You all think Christmas just happens. You think all this goodwill just falls from the freakin’ sky. Well, it doesn’t! It falls out of my holly jolly butt! So you can cook your own damn turkey. Wrap your own damn presents. And hey, while you’re at it, you can all ride a one horse open sleigh to hell!
 And my number one memorable Family Guy quote is… [Drum Roll Please!]
#1: Peter Griffin: [Dancing to Axel F] Neh-neh neh neh neh-neh neh neh. Neh-neh neh neh neh-neh neh. Neh neh neh neh-neh neh and then another neh-neh neh neh-neh.
Share with me some of your favorite Family Guy Quotes below in the comments. 11 seasons and they are still going strong!
Stay Classy, Homies ^_^.

Source: Family Guy Quotes –